Why we aren’t all beautiful

When someone mentions body image what is the first thought that pops into your mind? Is this expression connected to negative or positive feelings? Often it’s both. Most people will agree that the relationship with yourself is the most important one and that self-love is the key to happiness. However, gaining self-confidence might also be one of the most difficult challenges we face in life. We are easily influenced by those around us and with the different beauty standards that are promoted through (social) media self-doubt becomes almost inevitable. I am sure that most of us experience issues with their body image in different periods of life, no one manages to be 100% content with how they look everyday. I have recently seen a lot of celebrities addressing this subject, trying to inspire and encourage their audience and often share their own struggles showing us they are vulnerable. This topic also seems to be widely discussed on YouTube and you can see people sitting in front of their camera telling us that ‘we are all beautiful’. I will go ahead and say it: no, we aren’t.

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No, I am not writing this post to destroy your self-confidence, in fact I am trying to do the opposite by taking a different approach to the subject of beauty. So why aren’t we all beautiful? The answer is simple: Because beauty does technically not exist.Β At least not on a universal level. First of all, beauty is a highly subjective matter. Each of us defines it differently, has different liking and considers different traits beautiful. So even if it feels like society sets a standard it isn’t true – in the end we are all setting different standards and have different opinions on what is beautiful – and let me tell you, that is amazing. That is exactly why we have such a vibrant fashion industry and such amazing art on this planet. But beauty is not only a matter of individual taste, it is also a matter of perspective. Whether we find a person beautiful is hugely influenced by our emotions and therefore how a person acts – it isn’t just a saying that beauty comes from the inside. If we like a person, we are more likely to search for beauty. Just imagine strolling through a village on a bad or a good day. On a bad day you would notice the empty shops, the ugly buildings and the dirty streets. On a good day we would look up and notice beautiful old facades and maybe we would’t find the streets that ugly. So in a way, we can choose to see beauty.

So if these celebrities would see their audience, they would never find them all pretty, because it is impossible that a random group of let’s say 20 million people would appeal to them. Each person has his or her own unique taste and sometimes people are considered pretty by many and we still can’t see it. Well, a lot of people like coffee but that doesn’t mean that coffee is the best drink on this earth. So just like some people like tea and some people prefer coffee people prefer different looks. I once saw an experiment floating around the internet where a picture of a woman was given to many different countries and people in these countries should photoshop her so that she looked ‘beautiful’. As you can imagine there were all kinds of results. But let’s take the subject a step further. Beauty isn’t only defined differently by everyone, it is really just a thought in everyone’s head. So yes, we aren’t beautiful. Or ugly. We just are. If you look at yourself you can’t see ‘ugly’ or ‘pretty’, you cannot prove it. Your legs are there and so is your hair and your nose but beauty or ugliness aren’t. They are simply concepts made up by society and also made up by yourself. And honestly, these concepts are just based on momentarily thoughts and do not have any kind of scientific bases. Who says it’s beautiful to be tall? Why should the length of your body be a criteria for beauty? I personally don’t see any connection between these two. This is just an example, you could apply this for many different body features.

So maybe that is where the problem lies. We confuse doubtful thoughts with reality and by doing that we create an illusion and therefore harm our self-confidence. Just like with anything in life we should approach our thoughts carefully and search for scientific proof. In this case, you won’t find any, no matter how long you search. If we consider ourselves ugly, that doesn’t mean we actually are. Because like I said, there really is no such thing as ugly and pretty. It is just a thought or maybe it is what those around us have taught us. But even that doesn’t mean anything – each society has different beauty standards and then each person has individual standards as well. So what we are talking about are just beliefs.Β So maybe we should stop basing our self-confidence on mere thoughts and just see ourselves for who we really are instead of critically judging our appearance and putting ourselves in categories like ‘pretty’ or ‘ugly’ that don’t exist in reality. Maybe we should just accept that some people will find us beautiful and others won’t, just like we have our own taste as well. And just maybe, we should stop wondering whether we are beautiful and leave that concept behind for good.

– This is a very heartfelt post as I know body issues only too well. I have actually rewritten this post 3 times before publishing it and I’m not sure if I got my point across or not. I really wanted to write this post as realising that I’m basing my happiness on a mere thought helped me more than any reassurance that I was beautiful. P.S. This post is hugely influenced by Noah Elkrief, I can highly recommend checking out his channel.-

What are your thoughts on this?x

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  • I absolutely LOVE this post. It's so well written and you put your point across wonderfully. I've never even thought about it like this before, but you are so right that beauty is just a concept and not a solid ideal that we should all compare ourselves against! Reading this post actually just made me really happy! Well done for being brave and hitting publish!
    Amy xx
    http://www.callmeamy.co.uk

  • This is such an interesting and thought provoking post, Mira. I entirely enjoyed reading it. And I do understand your point but I don't think a lot of people can realize this. The features that we find 'beautiful' are only the ones we prefer and they are not necessarily beautiful. But that's how we have been categorizing people since forever and I really don't think that anything will change no matter how sad that may sound πŸ™

    -Leta | The Nerdy Me

  • Lovely post Mira. It's definitely something that everyone suffers with at some point. I myself have low confidence and dislike certain features/parts of my body. I think it's great a lot more people like celebrities as you mentioned, are talking about it. No one is perfect and you are so right that everyone is beautiful in their own unique way. If we were all the same we'd be pretty boring right?

    Love Hannah xx

    http://www.HannahHawes.com

  • Thank you, reading this comment really made my day, I am glad I could inspire you a bit. πŸ˜‰ xx

  • Thank you very much! I agree, I don't think it will change any time soon as looking past these concepts also means freeing ourselves from society in a way. xx

  • Thank you, Hannah! That is absolutely true, we all have something 'beautiful' and yep, if we were all the same this world would be boring. xx

  • I just came across your blog and I'm in love with the way you write. Thanks for taking a different approach on this never ending battle with ourselves. I agree with you, the concept of beauty does not exist! It's such a subjective topic and I love your take on it! Such a nice read!
    xx
    Ana
    Indie SunsΒ | Bloglovin'Β |Β Instagram

  • Thank you! xx

  • Thank you, that means a lot! xx

  • This was a very inspiring post! It's important to celebrate our differences and realize that beauty comes in many different shapes and sizes.

    Eden | Mint Notion

  • Thank you! And yes, you're absolutely right! x

  • This is such a great, well written and thought provoking post. Body image and positive body image is such an important subject, I think as long as we are addressing it, it's nothing but a good thing. When I was a teenager we were never hearing positive things, it was always negative and nobody was ever skinny enough. I'm glad that mentality is changing and people now try to focus on positivity and self-love a lot more.

    Hayley-Eszti | http://www.hayleyeszti.com

  • Thank you very much! I completely agree with that, society has already changed a lot – in a good way. xx

  • Another well written, inspiring post! I agree with what you are saying completely. All too often the media portrays these representations of beauty, but I need to ask myself why are these things classed as beautiful, why is this certain height, weight, these features etc classes that way, what is ugly what is beauty? We just are. I love that. Simply we just are. i wish I was more confident in myself, I have to remind myself that there's no such thing as 'beautiful', everyone has flaws, everyone looks nice in their own unique ways; were all different and we should all embrace that and let that be it!
    Becky Shannon xx – Life-by-Becky

  • Thank you, that means a lot! And yes, that is exactly the message I wanted to convey – we are neither ugly nor beautiful and neither are certain features ugly or beautiful, we really just are. I agree, gaining self-confidence is definitely a challenge but yes, we are all different and in my opinion THAT is beautiful. xx

  • What a great read! Beauty is a very discussed topic but for many reasons since it is something with no exact answer. It's true everyone has something special about the way they look but of course we're all brain washed into following what should define beauty by the media. I feel a bit sad for the generations to come because even for me as an adult woman I still feel pressured to look a certain why or if I don't I'm not beautiful. You always have amazing posts, keep it up!

    Stacey | http://www.thebambieyes.com

  • Thank you so much! And yes, that is exactly the reason why beauty is a very discussed topic. Your really bringing it to the point, (social) media is brainwashing us to look a certain way and to do things a certain way and only if we break free from these concepts we can be our own kind of beautiful. xx

  • I would say everyone is beautiful in their own way, well within reason. Depends if they are a horrible person or not, but you are right, everyones ideals of beauty are different so we all see something others don't see.

    Raindrops of Sapphire

  • I love writing style! Amazing post!And I think every one of us is beautiful!

    https://carinazz.blogspot.com.ee

  • Thank you! x

  • I agree, we all define beauty differently but there is something beautiful in all of us. xx

  • This is such a beautifully written blog post. I just found your blog and I cannot get enough!

    http://www.ejwxo.blogspot.co.uk

  • Thank you so much! xx

  • I loved reading this. I hope there are more people like you in this world.

    Love, Fads
    Instagram β€’ Twitter

  • Beautifully written post, I agree with everything you said here. Body confidence is something that everyone struggles with at times in life and your take on it is so true and refreshing to read beauty is just a concept. It is just a shame that the media and society try and portray beauty as a certain way when in reality beauty is a range of different things, it's so nice to see celebrities talking about about it as well. πŸ™‚ xx

    http://my-world-heather.blogspot.co.uk

  • Aw thank you! <3

  • Thank you very much! That is absolutely true, I think we all need to make an effort to change our concept of beauty to push the media into that direction as well xx

  • This is a really cute post, thank you for sharing! I think your blog is lovely by the way, let me know if you want to follow each other! x

    adelelydia.blogspot.com

  • A Beauty post, that is not about beauty, well done! Ok: I can see where you come from– that we just are, that beauty and ugliness is a perception of our experiences and our environment, and I certainly agree with you. Although I also know that there is a saying, "Charm is a lier and beauty is in vain." I think that yes there is such a thing as beauty/ugliness, is it subjective? Certainly, But I also know that as you said, someone could be made beautiful from the inside. Someone who is caring and gentle is a lot more beautiful to me than someone who is selfish and mean, yet beautiful on the outside. I happen to know two people like that– One person is beautiful, he looks like Captain America–yet he is selfish and egotistical; the other guy is extremely gentle, and kind, and always looks out fro everyone around him, but he is on the plumper side, and he has bad skin. Whenever I look at the first boy, I ways see ugliness, no mater out outwardly beautiful he is, the other guy though, something inside him always makes him more beautiful than he is. Which then comes back to what you were saying Mira, even if in this society, his features are not considered the alpha features, those things are purely subjective, and are changed throughout the world, but his deeds–his actions, that what makes him truly beautiful, and that doesn't change anywhere in the world. And in that sense, I think everyone has the potential to be truly beautiful.

    http://cynicalduchess.blogspot.com

  • Thank you! xx

  • Thank you! And yes, that is absolutely true and in a subjective way, beauty certainly does exist – it really does come from the inside because bad manners or morals are what I'd also consider truly 'ugly'. In the end looks can be deceiving and a beautiful face doesn't automatically mean a beautiful person as like you said, that requires more. I love your last sentence and yes, I think so too! xx

  • A very thought inspiring post – than you for sharing Mira πŸ™‚
    – Ambar | Her Little Loves

  • Thank you! xx

  • Our taste of beauty is indeed relative β€” my perspective for beautiful may or may not be the same with your taste. I've encountered this kind of discussion in my Sociology class and it was a nice lecture. I hope people wouldn't just base beauty on the outside but also in the inside. I think we're being poisoned by social media that we need to have this kind of lipstick or complexion just because it's the society's standard of beauty and I hate it. I hope our society would stop labeling what real beauty is.

    Anyway, this is really a nice read especially that the title is very catchy. You really are a great writer. πŸ™‚

    Augustin Ra | Indie Spirit

  • Thank you, that really means a lot! And I agree, it is a really interested and often discussed topic. I also hope that society will stop labelling beauty and that we can get rid of unrealistic beauty standards. Beauty simply means something different to everybody. xx

  • This is beautifully written. I have only just stopped worrying about this and am finally learning to love every bit of my fabulous self- there's only one of you and I think you should treasure that πŸ™‚ Doesn't matter what you look like- this reminds me of one of my favourite quotes from Roald Dahl- 'If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely'

    http://miagetsablog.blogspot.co.uk/

  • Thank you! Your attitude is amazing, that is exactly what it's about! We are all unique and that is beautiful! The quote is amazing, I will keep that in mind. πŸ˜‰ xx

  • I think you got your point across beautifully. I have had endless contemplations on this topic and want to write a post on it from a slightly different perspective one day, but until then, I wholeheartedly agree. I think our natural subjectivity, when it comes to beauty standards, is clouded by the objectivity we are flooded with from the outside world (media, celebrities, expectations).

    Raashi
    reflectionswithraa.blogspot.com.au

  • You worded that very well, that is exactly the problem we are confronted with. You should, I would love to hear your opinion. xx